A mother from Portland, Oregon, is worried her soon-to-be college graduate is spending too much on specialty coffee in Starbucks. With just 30 days left before her daughter finishes school, she wants to step in and help her understand how much money she might be wasting.
But when she brought the concern to “The Ramsey Show,” personal finance expert Dave Ramsey responded with a dose of reality.
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“You’re not going to like my answer,” Ramsey said, before adding, “In 30 days, you want to fix four years of damage? No.”
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The frank response set the tone. Ramsey pointed out that the habit had been building for years, and trying to correct it right before graduation wasn’t realistic. Instead of pushing hard now, he suggested stepping back.
The caller described her daughter as smart, talented and responsible, with the only real concern being her daily coffee spending. That’s when Ramsey shifted the conversation.
“If you have a daughter graduating from college and she is a great person and the biggest flaw you can find in her is this, I would just step back and say thank you, Jesus, and say nothing,” he said. “I did a great job. I have a great daughter and if she spends some money on coffee I don’t agree with, so what?”
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Let The Numbers Do The Talking
Instead of confronting the daughter directly about coffee, Ramsey suggested a different approach: introduce budgeting.
“One of the things I wish we had done a better job teaching you was to do a detailed written budget,” he said, offering a script the mom could use.
The idea is that once someone tracks their spending, the reality becomes hard to ignore.
“The numbers yell at you,” Ramsey said. “They go, ‘This is smart. This is dumb.’”
Co-host Rachel Cruze agreed that real-world experience will likely do more than any lecture. Once the daughter starts earning her own income and managing expenses, she’ll naturally start making adjustments.
“I think it’s going to be some trial and error,” Cruze said.
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She also pointed out that spending is often tied to personal values. What feels wasteful to one person might feel worthwhile to another.
“If she has the money for her specialty coffee and that’s what she wants to do, and it’s not illegal or immoral, then it comes down to what she values,” she said.
Perspective Matters More Than Perfection
Ramsey added a story about his grandparents, who lived through the Great Depression and reused coffee grounds for days. By comparison, even making fresh coffee daily seemed excessive to them.
“They felt like we were wasteful because we make fresh coffee every single day and didn’t reuse the grounds …
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