A frustrated wife says she and her husband are struggling under roughly $40,000 in credit card debt after her husband stopped paying one of the cards once she quit reminding him.
Posting in the r/personalfinance subreddit recently, the woman said the couple owes around $22,000, $12,000 and $6,000 across three credit cards and pays roughly $900 a month toward the balances while bringing in roughly $4,000 to $4,600 a month after taxes. They also have a young child and an $1,800 mortgage payment.
Missed Payments And Rising Bills
“My husband messed up his credit score after I stopped reminding him to pay his credit card bills and he basically stopped paying his credit card,” she wrote. “They closed his account and put him on a payment plan.”
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The woman said she eventually took over the household finances completely to prevent more missed payments.
“I ended up taking ahold of our finances and ensuring all of our bills come out of one joint account now to prevent anything like that from happening and ensure everything’s being paid,” she wrote.
The couple attempted to take out a home equity loan to consolidate debt, including a car payment, but were denied due to debt-to-income issues and the husband’s damaged credit score.
She said she was now searching for second jobs, debt relief programs and personal loans while trying to avoid bankruptcy.
Many commenters said the couple’s biggest issue wasn’t just the debt itself but the gap between their income and expenses.
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“You are living a lifestyle that does not match your income,” one commenter wrote. “Bankruptcy is not a good solution for someone living beyond their means. You’ll be right back here before you know it.”
Others pointed out that nearly half the household income was already going toward housing costs before utilities, groceries, insurance and child-related expenses.
Several people also questioned why the husband wasn’t taking on additional work after falling behind on payments.
“Respectfully, that husband needs to pick up nonstop work until your debts paid off,” another commenter wrote. “I just don’t know how people let this happen.”
Bankruptcy Or Sell The House?
As the discussion continued, people encouraged the woman to at least speak with a bankruptcy attorney.
“Typically, primary residences are safe in a bankruptcy – the point is to give a second chance, not throw you out in the street,” one person said.
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Others warned against using home equity to solve unsecured debt problems.
“Don’t take on more debt to fix debt,” another one wrote. “The home equity loan denial might actually be a blessing. You’d be converting unsecured debt into debt backed by your house.”
Some commenters argued the family may ultimately need to sell the home …
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